Is it just me or is gift giving getting more difficult?  Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm not a generous, kind, fun-loving individual.  It's just these questions that keep popping up and I don't have an answer for them.  And I so dislike not having the answers.

Questions like:  What do you get for the person who has everything?  What do you get for the person who doesn't want anything, or at least won't give any hints? What's with that?  Is it a test to see if you can wade through all the myriad comments they've made throughout the year to see if you can decipher who they really are and what it is they really want.  It's so much easier with children. They cut pictures out of catalogues, write letters to Santa and tell everyone and anyone who will listen to them.  And like the commercial on TV, they are very creative in coming up with new ways to spread the word: Play Station 3, Play Station 3 two young boys whisper through the air vent from their bedroom to their parents'.  No mystery there as to what they want.

Then there's another where a male worker finds all manner of ways to tell his colleagues that he would like a china coffee mug from You-Know-Where.  He says it through a yawn as he arrives at the office and puts a post-it-note on his computer screen.  What could be clearer?  The mug is affordable and it is exactly what he wants.

We have a large family now so, much like many families, we draw names to exchange gifts among the adults.  We usually set a price range that fits all our budgets and away we go to look for that unknown gift that'll make someone's heart sing.  Much to my chagrin, that is when I find all manner of things that I'd like to buy for myself but alas I am on a different mission.  This has brought to mind a new concept in Christmas gift giving.

What if we still drew names but instead of buying a gift for that person, you buy something you'd really like for yourself.  It would be so easy and way more fun, wouldn't it?  Of course, you'd have to stick to the same price range as agreed upon.  Once you found the ideal gift, you'd sneak it home, and stash it away before anyone could spot it.  You'd have to promise yourself that you wouldn't wear it, eat it, use it or whatever before it's time.

Once the gift is wrapped, you simply write your name beside the "To" and then write the person's name you drew beside the "From".  When the gifts are opened, everyone is so excited not only to see whose name got drawn but also what they actually bought that person.  Wouldn't that be so much better?  Everyone has something they really wanted; the money would have been well spent; there'd be fewer returns on Boxing Day; and everyone would be happier. 

Except for one thing. Where is the joy of giving?  What becomes of all the time spent thinking about that special someone for whom you get to buy the gift?  When do you get to travel down memory lane remembering all the special gifts shared over the years?  Where is the love?

Many years ago when money was really tight in our home, the gifts were few and in order to add a few more I opted not to spend money on wrapping paper for the gifts from mom and dad only: not you-know-who.  Because the boys had always had paper routes, we had loads of papers in the house, so I wrapped their gifts with them.  I used construction paper and crayons to make the tags and add a bit of colour.  The toys are long gone now but the memories live on.

One of my favourite things to do on Christmas Eve right after our evening church service, was to take the boys for a drive all around the city to see the lights.  I'd have thermoses of hot chocolate and home-made caramel popcorn with mixed nuts.  Great gifts for the young but not so much for teens. In fact, the last time I did that trip, the boys wouldn't go with me so I took their grandmother and great grandmother.  And they laughed at my silliness.  And last night I laughed as my twin grandsons who are two and a half, giggled as with their dad we drove around the city to see the lights.

Note to Self…   Gift giving doesn't have to be hard.  Its true value lives in the memories.  The gift isn't the thing; the gift is the memory of giving, sharing and loving.  Remember, Christmas is celebrated because of the greatest gift of all.